Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Hide and Seek...

The kids climbed a huge rock on our trip to OH...Cecilia was not thrilled that I made her stay up there for a pic!
I'm back! I hope everyone is having a great summer. We ARE having a great summer with countless blessings daily, but I will not lie. Summer is *almost* done, and I'm getting excited!

The weather is very fall-like today (70s, low humidity), and this is making me very happy. That, and that fact that this week marks the beginning of August. And, August is the month when the kids go back to school and my life has the potential to resemble something a bit more scheduled and less chaotic. Even the fact that the days are getting shorter makes me happy (summer days are just TOO long!). I realize that most people reading this think that I'm nuts :).

Lucy Goose is 2! She is fiercely independent and an absolute JOY!
So, I just finished a program called Momnipotent (a Catholic program for moms put out by Ascension Press).

It is designed to be done by a group of women together (you watch a 30 min. video and then spend time discussing and writing in a journal). I had every intention of doing this program with other women. I mentioned it to my "core group" of Catholic mom friends (my BFFs if you will...lol!). They were excited about it! But, the possibility of us all actually getting together once a week in the summer was slim to none (vacations, kids activities, etc.). I felt sad because I knew that I would really and truly benefit from a program that promised "peace, joy, and balance in motherhood!!!!" I did not want to wait until fall...

So, my kind husband bought the program for me. And, I watched it by myself at my leisure (it was helpful to be able to stop and start the videos as my schedule allowed!). Although I am not as peaceful, joyful, and balanced as I'd like (ha!), I am definitely a better mother and woman than before. I will continue to strive for perfection (knowing that this is impossible until I....please God...reach heaven!).

Gianna is an awesome big sis! And, at almost 8, she is incredibly helpful these days!
Something that really jumped out at me was how the vocation of motherhood is most often lived out hidden from the rest of the world. As I spend countless hours in service to my family, most of the time, no one sees me (my kids are around, but I don't think they see me as "working." For example, Gianna told me recently that she doesn't think it looks very hard to be a mom!). I know God sees me, but I am hidden to others. And, I feel hidden. I often feel lonely and isolated. I know there is nothing else in the world that I would rather be doing, but the emotions remain. They are not bad or wrong emotions (there's a whole chapter dedicated to emotions!!!), and they are not strange at all (I bet most of my friends can relate!).

So, I am trying to embrace the "hiddenness" of my vocation. Right now, God calls me to be hidden in my kitchen. And, it is here that I'm fulfilling His plan for me. This will lead to my peace, joy, and balance!

But, it's a journey, right!?! One summer day at a time :).
This smile (cheesy as this one is!) makes me so happy!!! I am anxious for school to start...but I will really miss Cecilia :)

My sweet Cecilia is FIVE now!