Breathing...

 

I saw something so cool on my ultrasound this morning. I could see the baby breathing! Thank God, I have seen many heartbeats and movements over the years, but I've never had an ultrasound this late before (just about 37 weeks), so I've never seen the diaphragm go up and down! Miraculous. I'm so happy that my baby's lungs are developed and God willing, he/she will take his/her first breath of air soon!

I'm still hanging in there! My labs are holding steady, so it's kind of a wait-and-see what happens game! I go back for another non-stress test and more blood work on Monday.

I did have protein in my urine (but not enough to induce immediately), and my blood pressure is still high and I'm very sensitive to it...not a good feeling. I try to come up with words to explain it, but the feeling that "something is just not right," is probably the best descriptor. At times it feels like I've had 6 cups of coffee, other times like I'm very hungover, others like I'm in a "fog", and sometimes quite lightheaded or like I need to hold onto something for balance. Hopefully it'll all pass when baby comes. Luckily, there are moments when I feel completely fine too (and I've been told that some people don't even realize when their blood pressure is up...hard for me to believe!).

I've learned a ton about pre-eclampsia. It's quite fascinating, actually. For centuries women and babies died of this mysterious illness, so I feel very blessed to be watched so attentively!

Tomorrow I am getting my birthday present...yes, my birthday is in August! Johnette Benkovic of EWTN's Women of Grace is coming to my parish to give a day retreat for women. I am going with two good friends (and we're even going to go out to lunch....without kids!), and I'm so excited for an opportunity of renewal and grace.

If you haven't seen Johnette's show Women of Grace or attended one of her Women of Grace bible studies, I highly recommend it...so empowering and supportive of women! I attended my first program when Gianna was just three-weeks-old, and it was perfect timing for a woman dealing with postpartum depression/the biggest changes of her life! I met one of my closest friends there (who just agreed to be this new baby's godmother...thanks, Andrea!), and I thank God for that experience (not a coincidence that I went...even though I very well remember standing in my garage that morning contemplating whether or not to go because I would afraid a baby would distract the women! She didn't...and, many women thanked me for giving them their weekly "baby fix!").

When I'm at my retreat tomorrow, my husband gets to take all five kids to Joseph's soccer game! I know this is no easy task!!! Part of me feels guilty (and worried for everyone's safety when there are parking lots, balls rolling, etc.). But, I know my husband is quite capable of taking care of our children (thank God!), and I really think this day will be beneficial for me in many ways.

My husband will need lots of deep breaths! I find myself taking lots of deep breaths when my children are all in the same room (my blood pressure shoots through the roof...pre-eclampsia or not...when they are all fighting and/or whining...ha!). And, after today's ultrasound, I am even more excited to meet our latest breather! Thank you God for all your many blessings.

Johnette Benkovic, Women of Grace