I snapped this picture of my kids playing train this week (you know...running around the house stretching out the shirt of the person in front of them!). Lucy wanted to be a part of it so bad. So, Gianna grabbed her hand (without me even prompting her)!
As I watched, I kept thinking: "It really doesn't get any better than this!" My five beautiful, healthy children playing together nicely. Everyone is laughing, everyone is included, and the big ones are looking out for the little ones.
Of course, it lasted no more than five minutes! Then someone got sick of being the caboose, someone else tripped, Lucy got trampled, etc. You know the rest!
The spontaneous train through my house did fill my heart up for a while that day. I think of these moments as my "pay!" They are fleeting, but they wouldn't be so memorable if they were constant...I fear I would take them for granted! I felt so good about my life.
And then, it was nap time and I checked my e-mail. It felt so good to communicate with others. I need that connection with people each day...even if it's not face-to-face! Should've stopped there.
Instead, I got on Facebook.
And, I saw everyone's vacation pictures. Everyone (including the children) looked so happy...so tan...so not bored...enjoying so many exciting things. So far that day, my highlight was a 5-minute train!? Really? How lame!
Luckily, a child needed me and snapped me out of this self-pitying mood! One of the greatest truths that I've ever heard is that if you want to feel better: GRATITUDE. And, I have an absolutely endless list of things to be grateful for. At that moment, I was grateful that my child made me get off the computer!!!!!
Such is my life:
- Awesome moments that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.
- Moments of total boredom/utter frustration with my life as a stay-at-home mom.
- Moments of wishing we had more money so that we could be the ones on the beach vacations.
- Moments of resentment that my husband is at a quiet desk at work and not dealing with meltdowns, quarrels, and dirty diapers.
- Moments of realization that I am so blessed to be with my children (there were very sad days when I wasn't sure that I would ever have a child) almost every moment of their super-fast early days (and not trying to squish everything into a few hours after work).
- Etc., etc., etc.
But my greatest moment of each day seems to come at night...as soon as my children are sleeping soundly. I check on them all between 9-10 p.m. and I feel like the most blessed (and most tired) mama in the whole world! My heart is bursting with gratitude for a safe, "normal" day with my children, and I thank God for all He has done this day.
All aboard the train of my life. Please God, keep on conducting! I know...how corny :).