Indispensable

I look at my awesome children, and I like to think that I am indispensable...that my family couldn't possibly work without me. It is actually easy to fall into this thinking. My husband and I just exchanged five phone calls trying to make an orthodontist appointment and an oil change appointment. Someone needs to be here with the children. I need to be here at certain times of the day to nurse the baby. So, I feel indispensable.

It can be a wonderful feeling...to be so needed, so loved, so wanted. It can also be overwhelming at times...an out of town trip or unexpected absence would be extremely hard on the rest of the family.

But then, I hear news that shakes me to my core and makes me rethink my life's worth. There was a story this week on Catholic Mom's facebook page about a young mother of 5 small children named Kiley Hackl from Wisconsin, age 32, who died on Sunday after having a stroke. She was a devout Catholic who delighted in her vocation. I think I would've like her!

That story brought to mind other young mothers who died suddenly and unexpectedly. For example, last summer, a young mother of 7 named Serafina Kinnare from Florida was on vacation with her family in Pennsylvania (not far from here). She didn't have her seat belt on when her husband was in a car accident. She died right away, although her entire family was fine. It makes me think perhaps she took her seat belt off for a minute to reach back to help one of her children with something...how often have I done that!?

Of course, every person reading this can think of someone else.

After extreme sadness for the husband and children, the thought that sticks out in my head is this: What is God thinking!?!?!?!?!

I can only hypothesize. It just doesn't make sense to me. Of course, it's not supposed to. God's thoughts are not my thoughts and His ways are not my ways. And, of course, this is for the best (I write these words to convince myself, too!). Perhaps these mothers can best serve their families in heaven...watching their every move and speaking directly to Jesus and Mary for their protection, guidance, and salvation.

As for me, I guess it makes me want to pray for myself more! I pray for graces to be a better wife and mother constantly, but I very rarely pray for MY health and safety (unless I am driving my children because I do pray every time I get into the car). I pray for my husband and children many times a day.

I know God has a plan for all of us...but, I look at my family and I just hope and pray that we all stay together on earth for a very.long.time...and then for eternity.

St. Gianna (who left four young children on earth), please pray for the repose of the souls of Kiley and Serafina...and for their husbands and children. And, for all mothers on earth and in purgatory. Amen!